Two for the price of one

[Hedgehog]

IRISH PROSTITUTE

An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been
all this time?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye
call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a
prostitute....

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner!
You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this
luxurious
fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings
certificate
for $5 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye
daddy,
the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's
parked
outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a
breath)....and an
invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board my new yacht
in the Riviera , and...."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad!
Sniff,
sniff."

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought
ye said a Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"

_____________________________________________________
Wabbits


A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest
little lisp, between two missing teeth,

"Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's hea rt melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's
on her level and asks,

"Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit,
or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?"

She, in turn, blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees,
leans forward and says, in a tiny quiet voice,

"I don't think my python weally gives a thit."