POS/ BOOTIE joke thread moved here

RedDevil · 04-04-2007, 09:44 AM,

Speaking of hugs I was in town in Aberdeen on Saturday and there was this bloke and a girl going round with huge signs saying 'Free Hugs' and another guy was video taping these people giving aforementioned free hugs to passers by. Any dude tried to give me a free hug I'd pop him in the balls. Bloody hippies.

Ah Aberdeen in Scotland, the Scots are a fine hospitable people!
An Englishman buys a remote cottage in the Scottish Highlands, and the first evening there's a knock at the door.
He opens it and there's a great big hairy Jock standing there in kilt, tam o' shanter, sporran, bagpipes under his arm, the lot..
"Och laddie" he says, "I'd like to invite ye to a party at my farmhoose doon the glen tonight, there'll be lots of singing, dancing, drinking and wild wild sex!"
"I say old chap, jolly good show, I'd be delighted to come!" replies the Englishman with a grin, "how many will be there?"
"Och laddie" replies the Jock, "just the two of us!"...:rolleyes:

Someone needs to :smg: whoever said the old ones were the best.

:)And Scottish generosity is renowned throughout the world!
An elderly Scotsman confesses to his priest -"Father,60 years ago in World War Two I sheltered a shot-down German airman in my attic in Glasgow"
"That was a very charitable thing to do" replies the priest,"I'm sure God will forgive you"
"Er...there's more father," says the man,"I got him to sign an international bankers order paying regular interest from his Swiss bank account into mine"
"Oh well" replies the priest,"I'm sure God will forgive you that too"
"Thank you father" replies the man and turns to go, but when he reaches the door he stops and turns and says to the priest - "Just one more thing father, should I tell him the war's over?"

04-04-2007, 09:53 AM,

Well my original post wasnt actually a joke it did really happen but while we are on the topic of jokes.

This teacher had been explaining to her class, what a moral was. And now wanted each one in the class to make up a story which had a moral to it. She gave them 30 mins to complete it.

After the time had expired, She asked if anyone had made up a story.

Little Jenny put her hand up, and the teacher said. "O.K Jenny tell us your story"

Little Jenny began. "One day my mother asked me to go and collect some eggs from the chicken run. I collected all the eggs and put them in my basket, but on my way back I tripped over a stone and all the eggs fell to the floor and smashed."

The teacher said. "Thank you Jenny, and what is the moral to that story"

Little Jenny said. "Never put all your eggs in one basket".

Then little Jimmy put his hand up, and the teacher said. "O.K Jimmy tell us your story"

Little Jimmy started. "In the War my grandad and his friends were under attack from shell fire. All his mates were killed and there was only my Grandad left in this trench. When all of a sudden 10 enemy soldiers jumped in the trench with him. So my Grandad picked up a bottle of whiskey and supped it straight down in one go. Then he shot all 10 of them dead"

The teacher said. "That was a very interesting story Jimmy. But what moral does it hold"

Jimmy said. "You should never screw with my Grandad when he's drunk.".