Weekend again

[Hedgehog]

ULTIMATE FEMALE JOKE



It has long been contended that there are male jokes and there are female jokes, and there are unisex jokes. Here is a joke a true female joke. I offer it to you in the hopes that women will love it and men will pass it along to a woman who will love it.

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As men will.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00...on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was.

The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed a $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply into his eyes, and slowly and meaningfully said:


"Clean my house."
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Subject: bad neighbours

A new Council tax re-evaluation policy wants to charge us more if we live in a nice area. That ought to mean discounts for those of us who live in rough areas.

There is a huge council house in our street. The extended family is run by an old woman with a pack of fierce dogs.

Her car isn't taxed or insured, and doesn't even have a number plate, but the police still do nothing.

Her bad tempered old man is notorious for racist comments.

A shopkeeper blames him for ordering the murder of his son and his son's girlfriend, but nothing has been proved yet.

All their kids have broken marriages except the youngest, who everyone thought was gay.

Two grandsons are meant to be in the Army but are always out partying in nightclubs. They are out of control.






Honestly - who'd live near Windsor Castle ?
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A major International company was looking to hire someone for an important position, so they interviewed dozens of applicants and narrowed their search down to three people from different parts of the world. In an attempt to pick one of them, they decided to give them all the same question to answer within 24 hours, and the one with the best answer would get the job.


The question was: A man and a woman are in bed, nude. The woman is lying on her side with her back facing the man, and the man is lying on his side facing the woman's back. What is the man's name?

After the 24 hours was up, the three were brought in to give their answers.

The first, from Canada, says 'My answer is, there IS no answer.'

The second, from New Zealand, says 'My answer is that there is no
way to determine the answer with the information we were given.'

The third one, from Australia, says 'I'm not exactly sure, but I have it down to four names.

It's either: Willie Turner, Willie Nailer, Willie Ryder, Willie Watt.

The Australian got the job...