Kiwi & Aussie..Plus

[Hedgehog]

A Kiwi and an Aussie were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer.

After a while the Aussie says to the Kiwi,
"If I was to sneak over to your house and shag your wife while you were off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"

The Kiwi crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says,
"Well, I don't know about being related, but it would make us even."

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An older man approaches a younger woman inside a shopping centre.

'Excuse me,' he said. 'I can't seem to find my wife. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?'

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the chap, said, 'Sure, but do you know where your wife might be?'

'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, she usually appears out of nowhere.