FRIDAY HUMOUR - LATE

[Vulture]

Just seen this, thought I'd share... :)

Vulture


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Swearing at Work
Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.

a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can
continue in an effective manner.



1.

Try Saying:

I think you could do with more training

Instead Of:

You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?


2.

Try Saying:

She's an aggressive go-getter.

Instead Of:

She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch


3.

Try Saying:

Perhaps I can work late

Instead Of:

And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?


4.

Try Saying:

I'm certain that isn't feasible

Instead Of:

F*** off a*se-wipe


5.

Try Saying:

Really?

Instead Of:

Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole


6.

Try Saying:

Perhaps you should check with...

Instead Of:

Tell someone who gives a f***.


7.

Try Saying:

I wasn't involved in the project.

Instead Of:

Not my f***ing problem, mate.


8.

Try Saying:

That's interesting.

Instead Of:

What the f***?


9.

Try Saying:

I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.

Instead Of:

No f***ing chance mate.


10.

Try Saying:

It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in

Instead Of:

Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?


11.

Try Saying:

He's not familiar with the issues

Instead Of:

He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.


12.

Try Saying:

Excuse me, sir?

Instead Of:

Oi, f*** face.


13.

Try Saying:

Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway

Instead Of:

Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.