Wedding Night...Weekend Guys

[Hedgehog]

WEDDING NIGHT

Honeymoon at Home:
Fred and Mary got married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's Mom and Dad's for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No".
Johnny asks,
"Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies,
"I don't want to hear what you think!
Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks
his Mom,
"Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies,
"Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,
"Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His Mom says, "No."
He asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His Mom replies,
"Ok, now tell me what you think?"
He says:
"Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

-------------------------------------------------------------
When you have a 'I Hate My Job' day,
[even if retired you have those sometimes]
Try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson

Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. < BR>

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized. '

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times,'I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.'

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A_S THAN YOURS!

[McIvan]

LOL....very funny Hedgehog. We must be due for another joke installment by now?