Situation Report; Eastern Front

[Grumbler]

I thought it might be fun to start a thread where we can talk trash about the Soviets and swap lies about war on the Eastern front.
Things are going well for the Poles, after getting off to a slow start. The slow start was caused by a few logistic problems. Getting used to the French gear took longer then I thought. Would you believe the French put the handles on the OUTSIDE of their coffee cups? I know that seems strange, but it's true. I think we lost at least half a day trying to figure out a way to stack them. Never did, they ended up buried in a slit trench. Then there was the delay caused by the French sending bowling shirts that had no ammo loops. Got that fixed with a little needle and thread work. A few hours for that with only one casualty. Private Kzsrtwywkxvgwtjwski ( known as Ski for some strange reason) sewed his finger to his bowling shirt. No real harm done, it wasn't his trigger finger. He won't miss the battle and is recovering nicely from the amputation. Anyway, everything is going well and the troops are advancing as ordered.:cool:

[Vesku]

My troops were so fatigued after a long march that when ordered to attack they attacked the countryside and started looting, only the more disciplined grenadiers appeared on the fields of battle. I've already ordered the whole punch shot, there's plenty of good places for massgraves. Only small trouble is those tanks that need to be shot too, I can't tell when they are dead because I can't see them breathe.

[Grumbler]

Smell. Take a big sniff and if it smells like overdone bacon, they are good tanks. The bad tanks stink of oil and cordite. Sound is useful too. Bad tanks make mechanical noises. Good tanks sort of crackle and pop.

[Vesku]

Nice. You could have told me when I was hovering over those hulks, now I have to go back and get them dug out again. They better smell right after all this trouble.

[Grumbler]

Put your POW's to work. If there is one thing the Soviets are noted for, it's digging. Poles aren't bad either, once you get them straightened out on which end of the shovel goes in the dirt.