Proof that the World is Nuts

[Hedgehog]

Subject: Fw: Proof that the world is nuts






>
> Proof That The World Is Nuts
>
>
> In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the
> animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is
> punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)
>*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
>
> In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but
> is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He
> may only see their reflection in a mirror.
> (Do they look different reversed?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
>
> Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This
> also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be
> covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick?)
>
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
>
> The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
>
>
> (Much worse than "going blind!")
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
>
> There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
> And deflower young virgins, who pay
> Them for the privilege of having sex
> For the first time
> Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
>
> (Let's just think for a minute; is there
> Any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her
> adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
> The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any
> manner desired.
>
> (Ah! Justice!)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England- but only in
> tropical fish stores.
>
> (But of course!)*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*
>
>
> In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and
> the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness
> the act.
>
> (Makes one shudder at the thought.)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
>
> In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a
> woman and her daughter at the same time.
>
> (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this
> law?)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with
> one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine
> only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
> the premises."
>
> (Is that a great country or what?
> Well, not as great as Guam !)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Banging your head against a wall uses
> 150 calories an hour.
>
> (Who volunteers for this stuff?)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
>
> (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own
> weight and
> Always falls over on its right side
> When intoxicated.
> (From drinking little bottles of???)
> (Did the government pay
> For this research??)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Butterflies taste with their feet.
>
> (Ah, geez.)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
>
> (I know some people like that.)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Starfish don't have brains.
>
> (I know some people like that, too.)
> *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> And, the best for last?
> Turtles can breathe through their butts.
>
> (And I thought I had bad
> breath in the morning!)

[PoorOldSpike]

> The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

JUDGE - "I find you guilty and sentence you to beheading"
ACCUSED - "Thank you your honour, my head is only my second favourite organ anyway"

[PoorOldSpike]

> In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

What if she's a vampire?

[Hedgehog]

> The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

JUDGE - "I find you guilty and sentence you to beheading"
ACCUSED - "Thank you your honour, my head is only my second favourite organ anyway"

I think that could well be the response on that one...Men know what they like....LOL

[Der Kuenstler]

> There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
> And deflower young virgins, who pay
> Them for the privilege of having sex
> For the first time
> Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

Why oh why didn't we hear about this on career day??? :(

[Liebchen]

> There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside
> And deflower young virgins, who pay
> Them for the privilege of having sex
> For the first time
> Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

Why oh why didn't we hear about this on career day??? :(

Ummm... because it's complete b*llsh*t? Think about it. Guam, which is a territory of the U.S., has both a U.S. Air Force base there and a U.S. Naval base there. Why would anyone need to pay someone to screw them with all of those horny volunteers around? (That, and they get a fair number of Japanese tourists passing through.)

I used to be stationed there, and the customs are pretty much like in the rest of the U.S. The Chamorros (Guamanians) are something like 90% Catholic and have been for a few centuries.

[McIvan]

Hear that one every few years, with a different country every time :)

[Kelen]

Yes I would imagine most of them are total bullsh*t.

The topless Liverpool tropical fish saleswomen is, (I live in the UK), those type of laws, (the real ones at least), tend be a hang over from Medieval times, (such as in some parts of England it's still legal to shoot a Welshman with a bow and arrow - true!), and they didn't have tropical fish shops then so, no. So is the one about having sex for fun. Chimps and Mongeese do to name but 2, (It's amazing hat you pick up on the Discovery channel!)

Makes amusing reading though.

[Der Kuenstler]

How do they know if the animal is doing it for fun or not? Do they interview the animals at a family planning clinic or what? I would think they all just do it by instinct.

[RedDevil]

How do they know if the animal is doing it for fun or not? Do they interview the animals at a family planning clinic or what? I would think they all just do it by instinct.

prolly from the smile on their faces