THE BLITZ EXTREME CAGE MATCH: COL T vs [hirr]Leto

[Copper]

Once again, time prohibits the full lowdown...

But interesting developments:



Dave makes a run for the border for some tasty chilooopa gorditos... or whatever the Soviet version of a taco is... probably has cabbage in it, I would posit. Not sure if this is a good move by Dave... the pillbox gun guards the bridge and I can back my PUMA out onto the street protected by the Crack gunners in the pillbox in case any Soviet tanks get ideas... looks like a dead end route to me.



I also have two choices to make: should I stay or should I go? My panthers need to be let loose, but I am thoroughly conservative and do not want to send them into Dave's backfield without knowing what the hell he has back there... two routes are chosen for attack, and I think the one on the left makes more sense as it takes away flank shots from the river area (a valentine and 2 TACAMs still lurk out there). There is still a danger with Dave's tanks spread out across the field, leaving for flank shots against the panthers if they engage one way or the other... this is easily how the infamous POS "hunting pack" can be dismembered, eaten and panzer bones spit out. I may need to take 2 panthers down both attack routes to prevent against this.

In the Village, flames, Turan Turan fire and some harsh words topple the Romuck attack...



Before the Turan Turan's make the romanians soil their drawers and run for the river... they get my other flamer. Dang. My defense is hanging on a pretty thin wire now, but those Turan Turans are in absolutely brilliant location, if I don't say so myself...

In the west, the flaghouse has been hollowed out to one broken and shaky two by four holding up the whole structure. I'll drop it next turn and then the turn after send a probe of one half squad. NEVER and I repeat NEVER cross open ground into potentially held enemy territory without probing it with half squads. NEVER! You got it? Good.



The Ubermensch are chomping at the bit, and if I can break through, the game will literally be over as I can romp through the woods into Dave's backfield and begin shrecking (really really) his remaining tanks.



I apologize for the lack of fart jokes, sexual innuendo and other naughty bits in this post... Bootie and Wigam have put me on valium and are standing behind me (right now as I type) with tazers.

: )

ZAP!

UEAUGUAGHGHGHAGHGHAAAGHGGHGHHHHHH!!!!

*sizzle*

mother?!*

*thunk*

Leto

*cue Daffy Duck

[Copper]

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the MB last week... A large dark van pulled up next to me, and three hooded men got out, threw a sack over my head (making me mildly attractive to women for the first time in my life), and then tossed me into the back.

I woke up in a Clockwork Orange diorama, with eyes peeled open by steel claws and a large viewscreen in front of me. No, the program was not Ren and Stimpy, as I had hoped, but was a propoganda film preaching civility, politeness and that the literary works of Chaucer were sinful and bereft of art due to their profane usage of vulgarity within them. As Chaucer is (was) one of my all time literary heroes, I laughed and steeled myself for the barrage of graphic depictions of crayon drawn DAR's without references to bodily functions, sexual innuendo or fart jokes.

Deluged by pictures of soft fluffy kitties and bright pretty flowers, and laughing innocent children, I steeled myself for days against their allure. Every now and then a subliminal picture of an ogrish grin and a large mace would flit across the screen. Alas, after a week in captivity, soiled by the graphic depictions of political correctness and fundamentalist wisdom, I was released. I woke up laying in a lush forest meadow, with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head.

Thus you will see a radical change in the depiction of these DAR's. No longer will they be portrayed as a bloody, rowdy, vicious no holds barred cage match, but a friendly competition, much like that of two old comrades in a sunshine filled Manhatten park, playing chess.

Now, let's get onto business:

Not many turns have passed between my good friend Dave this last week. But here is a nice shot of a good move that Dave used to knock out my light Hungarian tank:



I'd seen the Stuart emerge from the woods along the road the turn earlier, and sensed Dave was going to attack my exposed and immobilized tank, but even after setting a covered arc for exactly the place that Dave's tank emerged, my tank refused to fire first. Most likely due to the loss of the TC. That always decreases the ability of a tank to spot enemy vehicles or infantry. Dave's tank gets in the first shot and hits the turret, for no penetration, and my Toldi II (Crack, btw), takes a shot back, and misses! The second shot from Dave's Stuart penetrates the front turret and the tank explodes!

Good move Dave.

Notice the T-34/85 in the background. I suspect he is moving it up with the Stuart to try and get at the Turan's I have perched on the hillside. I will have to anticipate that, and am now foregoing my movement into Dave's backfield on the right side to send my 4 Panthers to the left side to stem the tide of troopers moving across the bridge.

Notice how Dave moved up an ATR to harass the Puma.. and now the Puma is fixated on the ATR, and does not fire on his advancing infantry. Well played!

In the west, my light tank takes on a few Soviet infantry squads and my SS troopers chime in behind. I'm not yet ready to force my way across the open ground and will allow my tanks to soften up the enemy a bit before committing. My mortars are now in place, so I can either use smoke, or deterrant fire to pin any enemy units in and around the flag.



So far, the loss of my Toldi II increases my AFV losses to three, while Dave has lost 2 Stuarts, 2 Tacams, and a churchill. I suspect that the rockets have perhaps immobilized one of his T-34/85's, as I have only detected the two... perhaps his damage from those opening turn rockets are higher than I had anticipated? Heavens to Betsy I sure hope so!

Anyways, my good friend Dave is still playing a very smart game, not committing himself to errors like most players do when playing from behind. Dave is a very good player, and I am proud to call him my friend.

I hope you have enjoyed this turn of the DAR. Expect many more of this new improved quality to come!

Cheers all and have a wonderful day!

I'm off to smell flowers and pet fluffy kitties now!

: )

Leto

[Der Kuenstler]

That was very nice - don't forget to take off your white tennis shoes and sweater and put on your outdoor shoes first, Mr. Rogers! lol...

[Ratzki]

..., I laughed and steeled myself for the barrage of graphic depictions of crayon drawn DAR's without references to bodily functions, sexual innuendo or fart jokes.

Crud, withoutout all that stuff, most of us Canucks would not be able to speak at all. Just be prepared as it may manifest itself in other not-so-polite language, ...posts filled with aye's, oot's and aboots intertwined with other things far worse.:eek1:

[The Coil]

What a pleasant game you seem to be having. I do hope it ends in a 50-50 draw so there's none of that oh so upsetting talk about "winners" and "losers". I think we'd all just be happier if all games ended in draws. So many hurt feelings, so much unpleasantness otherwise.

[10th Mnt Div jdsu]

Did I flip to the wrong channel?

It's as if Spike TV was replaced with the Hannah Montana show.

[Copper]

Did I flip to the wrong channel?

It's as if Spike TV was replaced with the Hannah Montana show.

Now, speaking of Hannah Montana, what utterly delightful family channel programming! Hannah speaks to our children well and is such a good role model. I would never have a problem with any child looking over my shoulder to see me watching the Hannah Montana show! She is so swell.

That reminds me, I was at a corporate function this last Thursday, and one of the lady Vice Presidents I was talking to was wearing the most delightful pink jacket. I commented on how it was so refreshing in a room full of blue suits to see such a vivid and pretty color. She went on and on about how she actually meant to buy the jacket for an event in Chicago, when she was spotted in the store by one of here friends that had actually just bought the same pink jacket for the same event that evening! What a delightful story! Well, to not keep you in suspense (as that would be cruel and unchristian of me), they decided that her friend would wear the pink jacket to the event in Chicago that night, and the lady VP I was talking to bought another jacket AND the pink one to be worn at a later date, to my very benefit that night. Brilliant!

I hope you all stay tuned for the next turn of my DAR. It's bound to be brimming with wholesomeness, serious tactical tips about wargaming and stuffed full of comradely sentiments (I know, I am rather excited as well).

Here kitty! Come to daddy! Daddy has some pretty flowers for you!

Kitty kitty kitty!

(they are so cute)

Cheers!

Leto

[Copper]

By the way, I so appreciate all of you taking the time to read my work... and don't think you need to provide me with kudos or "well done's"... Just enjoy.

...and if the DAR's don't seem to be to your taste, just let me know and I will try ever so harder to make them better!

Have a good night everyone!

Off to bed for me (and not the sinful bed of coital lust that most retreat to... I've bought a new set of single beds so that my beautiful wife and I can have peaceful rests at night without wicked thoughts interfering!). I must admit, that I still do sleep with my Teddy though.

His name is Andy.

I do love him so!

Cheers!

Leto

[Copper]

Ok guys enough of this chat. Leto was asked to tone down this DAR because IMO it was childish and crude... and besides I found it hard trying to understand what was actually going on in the battle amongst all his churlish twitterings.

I advise you all to just enjoy the rest of the DAR as it stands and Leto stop with all the diatribe which is excess to your DAR and just accept that the rules of the Blitz have to be followed and the decision was made to politely ask you to follow those rules.

Thanks

[DevilThomas]

Ok guys enough of this chat. Leto was asked to tone down this DAR because IMO it was childish and crude... and besides I found it hard trying to understand what was actually going on in the battle amongst all his churlish twitterings.

Thanks

After being publicly and personally attacked, insulted, and humiliated I doubt if Leto will want to continue this DAR....:rolleyes: