Any funny war stories to tell?

[Greybeard]

Well, I was never in the military.. but I have a Boy Scout story that involves a military experience:

In 1964 (seems so LOOONG ago) I was a fledging scout.. our Scout Master worked for what used to be Rocketdyne in southern California - so he had some special connections. He set us up as a troop to go visit Edwards and later in the day George Airforce base in southern california. Just oustide George is a weapons range.. we were to visit the range and collect used parachutes from flares and empty brass and whatever other bits and pieces might interest us - as well as have a tour of the facility.

As we drove up the dirt road, we saw sitting outside the gate (only fence at the time was around the admin buildings) the very shredded and blackend remains of a civilian car..

when we asked about what had happened, the airman grinned and related the following..

Seems that a local from Barstow had a few too many.. and got onto the wrong road out in the middle of the desert.. and got himself stuck in the sand out in the middle of nowhere. He saw lights some distance away on some sort of tall building and set off looking for help.. about 2am this guy walks up to the gate at the admin compound looking for a phone to call out a tow truck.. gate guard asked him where his car was.. and was suprised when the guy pointed in the direction of the middle of the weapons range and said - 'out there somewhere'. What the car owner didn't know was that a Phantom squadron was on the way for some live-fire practice.. the Phantoms arrived about the same time the gate guard called the control tower to warn off the Phantoms.. needless to say, the Pilots were tickled to find a vehicle on the firing range apparantly placed there for their use and enjoyment.. which they did with much enthusiasm. They were even more pleased when the 'target' responded with secondary explosions (fuel tank ignition) after the first pilot hit it with 20mm cannon fire.. all the pilots in the flight joined in the party..

a few 1000 rounds later the car was barely recongnizable as a car..

I'm sure the owner had an interesting time trying to explain to the insurance company how his car became a total loss

Greybeard