TOTAL RE-COIL: The Battle for Taco Village (Coil no Entry... you Bastad)

[Copper]

"Wild Fremen said it well: "Four things cannot be hidden -- love, smoke, a pillar of fire and a man striding across the open bled."

- Dune Chronicles

...and a 105mm Howitzer carriage. Leto update, 2007 edition.



No worries, he gave as good as he got...



Le Rodomontade and Bombastic Coil, ever confident in his massing panzer flock, dictates his Grille to begin indirect firing on the Taco Factory flag... zee 150mm stinkee diaper finds no one at home (little does he know... I have retreated my men from their previous position, a la musical chairs... (I've been running and hiding them from place to place, just in case Le scabious and corniculate Coil tries to unload his poop laden projectiles upon my heroic Canucks... they survived Ypres, and they will survive this malicious contravention of the Geneva convention as well...)

My lone M-10 finds the road in the corner of the map and will be in town shortly to assist the beleagured howies... The fulll onslaught of Le vermiculate Coil's panzers appear to be moving with haste like Craven Creatures descending upon the corn tortilla wrapped goodness before them... I'll need some kind of good luck here soon to make up for the poor shooting and immobilized "in open ground" M-10...

At this juncture, I resign the fact that I cannot hold if ole Clicky Lovah decides to launch his panzers at my throat and force the battle upon my now reduced platoon of Priests. I have to bring the true muscle of the Canadian might into the fray: the prairie boys with their rifles, bayonettes and beer enfused courage... trained to rip apart panzers with their bare hands back home through exercises such as headbutting combines, tractor pulls (pulling off their large wheels with their large blocky teeth, honed to perfection and strength through eons of inbreeding and beer bottlecap removal) and the infamous and feared exploding prairie oysters technique (the placing of two grenades within a sock so that they resembled a set of bull's balls and then securing them with a shoelace, imitating the castration process... delivering them like a bolo at the gun barrels of a panzer as if it were a game of horseshoes... and on a good occasion, around the neck of an unfortunate panzer commander caught blindsided in his cupula... and on an evn rarer occasion, around the pecker of a german trooper... making for a sweet sweet ironic kaboom).

Horn's begin to bellow from the belly of Helm's deep and the Canucks begin to muster... the Germans lurking in "SERENITY NOW" Cove are about to receive a finger flick to their nuts the likes of GOD has ever delivered.

I intuit an urgency in the beast Coil-ban... his freemartinish and magniloquent rhetoric has taken on substance over the last few turns, and I believe he senses sweet victory (or what Le Coil refers to as a draw) as his shivaree swells into a crescendo of cocksure colloquy in the emails he delivers...

(BTW, you should pick up the great tome by Eugene Ehrlich called, "the highly selective thesaurus for the extroardinarily literate"... my family knowing my tendencies well, bought me this eclectic dictionary 10 years ago... and I have a wonderful urge to stupify people with it from time to time... I'm actually using it to prop up my common vocabulary at the moment, but I have to say, it is quite delighful insulting Le Coil in high english so that only McIvan can understand)

Back to common-ese next post... I promise...

: )

Cheers!

Leto