Golfing Hints

[Hedgehog]

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.


The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at His groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in agony. The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize.


"Please allow me to help. I'm a physio therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him.


"Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes," the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at his groin. At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.



She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his pants and put her hands inside. She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, "How does that feel?"


He replied, "It feels great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
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Subject: Tee Time



Taking a wee break from the golf course, Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish petrol station.

An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner, unaware who the golf pro is... "Top o' the mornin to ya".

As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.

"So what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.

"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.

"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.

"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaimes the Irish attendant. "Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything!"