DAR - Sweeny Mark, the Demon Commander of Meet Street seeks revenge

[Colonel Talvela]

Since The Coil is taking forever to send me his setup file – really people, who takes weeks to pick troops and make their setups… quite aggravating – I decided I actually would try to be talented and put my DAR into prose.

So you will all (ie Ratzki) be witness to the creating of the first every Blitz-way musical:

Sweeney Mark, the Demon Commander of Meet Street

Cast of Characters:

Sweeney Mark – The psychotic commander who is seeking revenge for his loss of status and the death of his beloved tanks at the hand of the despotic ELO leader Judge T
Judge Turpin (aka Judge T) – The despotic ELO leader of the Blitz who in times past wickedly routed Sweeney Mark from the battlefield and killed, maimed, and violated Sweeney’s beloved tanks.
Beadleto Bamford – Judge T’s fat, ugly pawn. Beadleto does most of Judge T’s dirty work, ie killing usurping commanders who would try to rise in the ELO ranks. It is a lonely world for Judge T and Beadleto as the most powerful ELO’ers at the blitz, but they like being on top. Of course, Beadleto is only on top because Judge T lets him stay there, but he is too stupid to realize it(Note: Beadle Bamford is the actually character’s name, which is incredibly fitting. But not quite as fitting as what he looks like though)


Anotoni – (Anthony in the move so I just have to use him) The young & novice commander who is Sweeney Mark’s protégé and falls in love with Sweeney’s “child”

Scene 1 – No Place Like The Blitz
(Note, the best way to read this is to click this link http://youtube.com/watch?v=tG6EZqaTbl4 and read my text while the real song plays)

Antoni (sung)

I have played Combat Mission
beheld its games
from Overlord,
to the mountains of CMAK,
But there's no place like the Blitz!

Sweeney Mark (sung)

No there’s no place like the Blitz

Antoni (spoken)

Mr. Sweeney

Sweeney Todd (sung)

You are new...
Games has been kind to you...
You will learn.

There's a hole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren't worth what a tankette can spit
and it goes by the name of the Blitz. (*See disclaimer below)

At the top of the hole sit the ELO few
Making mock of the commanders trying to win a game or two
turning tanks to scrap and their guns to poo...

I too have played the games and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of games is as bad as Germany in ‘42
but there's no place like the Blitz!

Antoni (spoken)

Is everything alright Mr. Sweeney

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

I beg your indulgance, Anotoni, my confidence is at an all time low.
For I once boasted of how I was a blitz ladder leader.


There was a Commander and his tanks
and they were greeeeeen...
a foolish Commander and his tanks.
They were the foundation of his plan...
and they were greeeeen, and they were PZivs.
And he was nieve.

There was another man who saw
that they were greeeeeeen...
A wicked vulture of the field
who, with a gesture of his steel
destroyed the commander from his place!
And there was nothing but to wait!
And they would die!
So frightened!
So scared!
So dead and oh so greeeeeen!

Antoni (spoken)

The tanks, sir, did they succumb?

Sweeney Mark (sung)

Ah, that was many weeks ago...
If you would read Col T's clever DARs you would know.

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

I want to tell you Antoni, I saw your intrepid and tenacity medals and realized I don’t have quit playing just because I cannot beat Judge T. You rescued me!

Antoni (spoken)

Will I see you again?

Sweeney Todd (spoken)

You may well find me, if you like, around Meeting Engagement Street. I wouldn't wander.

Antoni (spoken)

Until then my friend.


*DISCLAIMER, lest there be any confusion - in this blitz-way play Sweeny Mark hates the Blitz because of the despotic ELO leaders destorying his tanks. It has nothing to do with, and is not intended to relate to, the unfortunate events that happened last week.