Joke of the day thread

[Greybeard]

Well, I guess here goes:

Not long ago a tourist flight left Los Angeles International on course for Hawaii.. at first all is well, until just beyond the point where Calif is farther than Hawaii, the pilot receives a message from LAX: "We are sorry to inform you, but the load of fuel you took aboard is contaminated.. it is likely that you will suffer one or more engine failures"

Since they were flying a 4 engine aircraft the pilot felt fairly confident that even should one or two engines fail that they would be able to safely make it to Hawaii..

not long after, one engine flamed out, and the Pilot informed the passengers that they need not be concerned as they could fly perfectly safely on the remaining 3 engines..

then.. a second engine flamed out.. the flight engineer ran some quick calculations, and estimated at thier current weight the aircraft would come down in the water short of Hawaii.. so the crew began pumping un-needed fuel overboard until the engineer indicated that all was OK..

then a 3rd engine flamed out.. and the aircraft began to lose altitude.. the crew dumped what remaining fuel they could, and since it was not enough weight reduction, gathered some willing passengers and began emptying the cargo hold.. still not enough weight reduced.. and the aircraft continued to lose altitude..

finally they had thrown everything overboard that they could.. and the flight engineer calcutlated that yet another 600 pounds or so was needed to toss overboard.. with little alterative, the Pilot asked for 4 volunteers to give thier lives that the rest may live..

3 stepped fwds, then finally a 4th..

A Frenchman, A Britain, An American, and a German.. they drew straws to see who would go first..

The German jumped thru the door and vanished silently in the cold air..

Seeing the Bravery displayed by the German, the Frenchman stood forwards next, paused at the door and yelled 'viva La France' as he departed the aircraft..

The Brit, not to be out-done, yelled 'God Save the Queen' as he disappeared thru the open door..

Finally, only the American remained, and stood for a moment in deep thought..

The remaining passengers wondered what he might say..

finally he drew a deep breath.. and quickly reached out and Grabbed a Mexican man sitting next to the door and tossed him out.. as he did so, he yells: ' I'm from Texas, Remember the Alamo! ' ....

-Greybeard