Remake a War Movie?

[Kool Kat]

Make it stop, MAKE IT STOP...

I just watched a movie "Battle of the Last Panzer"... OMG, it has to be one of the worst movies of all time... A Spaghetti War Movie...

Hi Jim!

Slow day at the office... so dug up a little more "dirt" on your movie!

Here's a viewer's review of "Battle of the Last Panzer" (Amazon.com)

"After a failed tank assault against American defenses, a surviving German tank crew teams up with some more survivors to rebuild their Panzer and try to make it behind enemy lines. Pursued by American forces and French guerrillas, the German tankers fight against enemies as well as combating each other.

"Battle of the Last Panzer" has an interesting storyline that should have been better - in fact it was given better (though not perfect) delivery in the later film "The Beast," about a Soviet tank caught behind enemy lines in Afghanistan. By the end of the film the viewer is left very disappointed by what he's come across.

Part of the problem is that this is a "spaghetti" war film. Now, I've always been a huge fan of spaghetti westerns, but the faults that were hidden in those movies come out clear as day here. There's nothing more hilarious than seeing desert terrain passed off as France, and actors who are clearly Italians (swarthy skin, dark hair, Mediterranean composition) passed off as Frenchman. The dubbing, which is usually passable in the westerns, is here really obvious. Sometimes the voice tracking is so bad that for a second I thought I was watching a Godzilla film.

There are oodles of more problems not directly related to the Italian origins of this film. The German tanks are, typical of most WWII films of the time period, simply American tanks with German crosses painted on them. The American uniforms look like Yugoslav uniforms. An American officer wears his rank on his helmet sideways.

There is one good scene, near the end, where the Germans fight off an attack by French guerrillas. Unfortunately, it is too little too late, and the madness/desperation of the German forces is not emphasized enough.

To top this all off, this has some REALLY bad writing. Check out this monologue by the female lead:

"God breathed into dust, and God made man, and when God disappears, there's only dust again. I'd always believed that a man should be like cement...a block of cement...without ever realizing that cement after all is dust...that only man has the breadth of life."

Yeah...that sums up the movie nicely."

Also, had to a little digging on the "French town's hot mayor's wife." :chin:

Erna Schurer is the Swiss-born beauty (actress?) and she has starred in such classics as "Women behind Bars," "Blood Castle" and who could forget her memorable roles in both - "Strip Nude for Your Killer" and "Deported Women of the SS Special Section."

She also starred in the "semi-documentary" :whis: "Sex Life in a Women's Prison" and some more "anatomy-focused" films like "Naked and Lustful" and "Your Hands on my Body."

So, Erna has had quite a varied film career! :whis:

Cya all later.... got to go rent some movies! :rolleyes: