Dogs and why i hate the 4 legged fiends

[Larry Reese]

Cats are gods... or at least were in Egypt for example. I have both so I can observe their different predilections directly.

Ages ago, when dinosaurs ruled the earth, I had a girlfriend whose grandmother owned a tiny, POS chihuahua. This cowardly little SOB would bark bark bark and then sneak up behind me and nip me in the heel or ankle. After several instances of this, I admit I kicked the crap out of him next time he did it (just one good boot off the ground, not enough to break his bones - I do not espouse violence in general, I've seen enough of all that BS, but I saw no other recourse in this case). ***hole didn't try that again. I've been able to handle most other dogs without too much problem.

On the subject of ornery animals (and potentially animal cruelty), a good friend of mine, also back when dinos ruled the planet, had a few acres surrounding the little house he lived in. On this land, amongst other things, there were a herd of goats. A bunch of nannies and one big ol' honking male. This billy stood head high to me and I'm six foot. He was an ornery SOB, he'd spit at you, fake charge sometimes if he was PO'ed, come and stick his head in the car window, could open doors, etc.... The nannies followed him everywhere he'd go. One day, after being out all night raising hell and racing, we slept until around noon then got up and rummaged up some fish. Jeff battered them up and put them in a frying pan on the stove and came back into the living room. We took some aspirin and were nursing hangovers and watching TV when we heard this noise in the kitchen. We went in there and that SOB had broken through the screen door and unlatched it, come inside the kitchen and was eating the fish out of the freaking frying pan! I laughed but Jeff grunted "son of a bitch!" and grabbed a shotgun loaded with rocksalt. When I laughed the billy backed away from the stove and ran for the door. Jeff rushed past me, aimed on the fly, and shot that goat in the scrotum as he ran out the door. I never saw that goat run so fast in all my life. He hightailed it out to the far edge of the property and stayed out there, the nannies chasing to keep the whole time. There was no permanent damage to the goat, but I'll bet that smarted a bit. LOL. Anyway, he never came back up by the house much after that and had a much better disposition.

And of course, shooting fire arms in the house is always fun.

LR