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Weekend dose of Humour
My neighbour found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the vet.
He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the
dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she
wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should go to the store and get some
"Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month.
The lady goes to the Chemist and gets some "Nair" hair remover.
When she goes to pay, the Chemist tells her, "If you're going to use
this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says:
"I'm not using it under my arms." The Chemist says: "If you're using it on
your legs don't shave for a couple of days." The lady says: "I'm not using
it on my legs either; if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer."
The Chemist says: "Stay off your bicycle for at least a week."
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Irish Vasectomy
After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was
enough, as they couldn't afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his
doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more
children.
The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would
fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to
go home, get a large firecracker, light it, put it in a beer can, then
hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.
The husband said to the doctor, "B'Jayzus, I may not be the smartest guy
in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next
to my ear is going to help me with my problem."
"Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a cracker and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count:
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, and placed the beer can
between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
This procedure also works in New Zealand and Tasmania
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