Always a catch
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks for their orders. The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
'That will be £9.40 please,' she says and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact amount for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries, and a coke.'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact amount.
For a while this becomes routine until the two enter again later in the week.
'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, this time it's a treat, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad,' says the man.'Yep! Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be £32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact amount out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact money from your pocket every time?'
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was clearing the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would wish for a couple of million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'
That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'But, sir, what's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses, and replies, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs who agrees with everything I say.
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> > An old farmer went to town to see a movie.
> > The ticket agent asked, "sir, what's that on your shoulder?"
> > The old farmer said, "Oh, that's my pet rooster, Chucky.
> >Wherever I go, Chucky goes."
> > "I am sorry sir," said the ticket agent. "We can't allow animals
> >in the theater."
> > The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the bird down
> >his overalls. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the
> >theater. He sat down next to two old widows named Mildred and Marge.
> > The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. The old
> >farmer unbuttoned his fly so Chucky could stick his head out and watch
> >the movie.
> > "Marge," whispered Mildred.
> > "What?" said Marge.
> > "I think the guy next to me is a pervert."
> > "What makes you think so?" asked Marge.
> > "He undid his pants and he has his thing out," whispered
> >Mildred.
> > "Well, don't worry about it," said Marge. "Hell, at our age
> >we've seen 'em all"
> > "I thought so too," said Mildred, "but this one's eatin' my
> >popcorn!
>
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