THE BLITZ EXTREME CAGE MATCH: COL T vs [hirr]Leto

[Copper]

Hi there. The moderators of this forum believe the writing in the DAR's to be encroaching upon rule #20.

Therefore, the DAR will be discontinued, as per club rules.

Sorry if this inconvienences the two readers (up from my previous DAR by half!).

Cheers!

Leto

[Copper]

Apparently, I have not breached rule #20, but tenderly licked it oh so seductively.

: )

So the show will go on, sans gratuitous pee pee language, as per club rules.

Thanks to Wigam for helping me out here.

Please be advised: this is a CAGE MATCH, and there will be graphic scenes of bloodshed and manly hurting of each other...

... and there has been hurt... oh there has been so much hurt....

Stay tuned to see what a 300mm rocket can do when it lands in the wrong place...


; )

Cheers!

Leto

[McIvan]

Me and the other reader are grateful :)

[Copper]

Anything goes in the cage match... its bloody, its smelly... it hand to hand finger in the eye, knuckles in the groin type of fighting...

...and then every now and then someone slips on a banana peel...

This will be one of the most interesting things you'll ever see:

When last we talked, I was off to hunt a Tac Am or two. Notice how the three panthers near the flag are moving in to take the Tac am from the rear while the forest road panther acts as a bloodhound and flushes em out:



Notice the Romuck squad heading for that light building. Dave is trying to flank around to get at my flag... he's moved at least 5 squads from the warehouse into the streets, and even moved a light tank into harm's way to help give support.

But this isn't the first pic a nic basket that this Yogi has ever stolen, so I set my own Engineers to welcome the Romucks to the party.



And for good measure, within about 10 seconds... another DC lets loose.



Now, uhm, where to hang the housewarming gift when there ain't any walls left? yuk yuk yuk. But seriously, this is the best situation you can get for using engineers... you have to be a bit clarvoyant at times to be able to anticipate where a couple of DC's might do a bit of damage, and throwing DC's with a squad that is not under fire always produces pretty quick throwing times I have found.

Now where were we? Oh yes... hunting wabbits.



In retrospect, giving the 76mm gun of the Tac Am a side shot on my panther wasn't the smartest decision, but that was the only way I was going to get to the bridge down that thar road.

But instead of a Tac Am... guess what we find? The stinkin valentine.

no chance to get a shot off as he is moving forward... but then I hear a couple of 76's pops...



this is getting dangerous and now I see the error of my ways... I should have moved up the bevy of three panthers this turn and then moved the "bait" panther next turn... there's 3 76mm armed tanks in hurtin range of a side shot of my kitty.

But just when you think all is lost... here comes the rain:



A Tac am off to the right is at least immobilized by the falling rockets, and it looks like a rocket landed less than 50m from the other... it rolls backward out of the way of the panther and after the rocket hits... stops dead. Let's hope he's dead too.

Yep, I don't know how he achieved it, but it looks like Dave dropped Katyusha's on himself... and the placement couldn't have been any better if I had plotted it myself... note that many of the shells are falling in the potential advance paths of his infantry and at least one T-34 / 85 may have bit it... I see a few russian troops running around like chickens with their heads cut off... and that is likely what happened... broken by the rockets.

I've backed the Puma and Nashorn into hulldown right at the end of the street in front of my small flag and am hoping that the dust from the collapsed building clears at the start of the next turn so I can crack open the light tank and suck out its meaty russian filling.



Lastly, my sturmtroopers(tm*) are making their way to the hilltop flag. They will settle down and wait for their mortars to support them before trying to take the large building. If I can steamroll across the flag and into the woods behind, I can go after Dave's tanks with my panzershrecks... but that's a long way off yet.



THE CROWD IS STUNNED AND SILENT AS THE STRICKEN EL DAVO HAS SLIPPED ON HIS OWN LUNCH AND LANDED WITH HIS THUMB JAMMED RIGHT UP HIS ARSE. THE LOOK OF PAIN ON EL DAVO'S FACE IS PALPABLE AND HOT TEARS SLICE DOWN HIS CHEEK. IT'S UNBELIEVABLE THAT LETO GOT AWAY WITH THIS... HOW CRUEL FATE CAN BE!!!

Believe me, I know about cruel fate. I'm usually taking her to the ball with me each time I'm out to the dance. It's nice to see someone else take it on the chin... hmm... maybe Coil's good luck has mutated through me into bad luck for Dave???

I'll take it.

Cheers!

Leto

[Copper]

I crack myself up...

LMAO!!!!

Poor Hans.

Well, if anything, at least I am entertaining myself...

; )

Cheers!

Leto

[McIvan]

LMAO....poor Dave :)

I worry, though.....I fear you are storing up negative cosmic karma that will most assuredly bite you in the backside. I await news of all four Panther's immobilising simultaneously.

[The Coil]

No, no, save the negative karma for me. Dave doesn't need it to beat you. I do.

[10th Mnt Div jdsu]

Congrats -your readership #'s has increase by another 1.

Looks to be almost a double since the near shut down.

LOL funny stuff.

And yes, Col T will burst a vein :(.

[Copper]

I'm bucking for a post at the New York Times... or perhaps better suited, Mad magazine: four readers!

The morning turn: el Davo is down but not out, and roars like a nerdy jewish pharmacisct in a desperate counterattack!



My Panther decides to pop a few infantrymen while waiting for his brothers to join him... bad idea. Dave is a pasty white, noodle armed, nerd boy, but even his type can be dangerous in close:



Amazingly, the Stuart with a 99% to hit for sitting his ass in the wors possible place to be on the entire map, takes an 88 shell to the turret... but SURVIVES! Gun damage no less, and it retreats out of the fray... the Stuart is ELITE. What that means is that only a knocked out result will cause the crew to bail (cause the crew will be dead). I've noticed this before, and all of you should know that the percentage chance of abandoning a stricken or hit AFV GOES DOWN with the experience they have... So really, any other level of experience for the stuart would have resulted in a bail. Last word on this: ever notice why so many AFV's do not survive 50/50 kill percentages? Well if your boys are regulars or even worse, greens, the crew will abandon... watch your AFV kills in your next game and you will notice that most of the kills are abandons... that means the tank is still partially functional, but the crew has had enough.

And now to my pretty pickle (I bet that is what Hans brother sweetly told Klaus on that moonlit night back in Hamburg... little did Klaus know that Hansellete was packing a baby gherkin her/hiself):



Boom boom boom let's go back to my room. Four tanks. three with soft shots on my kitty... it shrugs off a side turret hit from the Tac Am, the Tac Am in the distance misses, and the Stuart punches a partial penetration into the upper hull... but the kitty fights on!

But now what do I do?



Don't cry for me Argentina... I'm certain the panther will bail on the next hit... the crew are regulars... knocking my cat out will put us back square in this game, as Dave's only lost 2 Tac ams, 1 churchill, and a stuart to GD... taking out my Panther with a Stuart or Tac Am will be a fate worse than death, and even if Dave loses, a point of teasing that will last for eons.

EL DAVEO LOADS UP WITH A MERCURY FILLED GLOVE, REACHES FOR A TWO BY FOUR AND LUNGES AT LETO... OH THE HUMANITY!!!

This will be tense. Let's see how thick my head really is.

Cheers!

Leto

[Kelen]

Ah, decisions, decisions!

Keep the DAR's coming Leto this is good stuff, (even if you do only have 5 readers!!)