Off Topic Game Review: Company of Heroes

[Der Kuenstler]

Truly a stinker of a game...



So I'm at the store the other day and I come across "Company of Heroes - Gold Edition." I'm a little skeptical but I notice that it allows you to play as Axis or Allied, which is sometimes rare among WWII games. So I shell over the $29.99 and bring it home. The next day I'm back buying a new GeForce 9400 video card for $98 - the game graphics were too advanced for the one I had.

I loaded it up and went through the tutorials - and realized I was just playing the goofy clickfest "Rise of Nations" with a WWII flavor. That's all it is, seriously. I've never seen a WWII game so heavy on pretty pictures and so devoid of any realism or serious tactics.

Here's a screenshot - this looks very impressive until you realize that there is very little you do as the commander other than click on a platoon in one place and click on another place. They all run over there and start shooting by themselves, often standing out in the open, until all of the enemy are dead. Look how many guys here are standing right out in the street, right in front of enemy tanks. There are only three "forms" of cover in the game: light, heavy, and exposed.



I loaded up the D-Day scenario where you just click on the squads coming out of the boats, click on the beach obstacles to make them run there. If they all get killed, more squads are spawned at the boat - you just keep clicking here, clicking there, until you get 25 guys to the cliff edge. Wow. Then you have to get some engineers to take out some MG nests. If your engineer squad is kiiled - no biggie - another one gets spawned at the boats. The way these nests are taken out is you left click on an engineer squad, left click on "satchel charge" then right click on the MG nest. That's it. Watch them do all the rest - they all run up there and throw it - boom.

This two-click boredom is often interrupted by long overblown cinematic scenes of "drama" that you must just sit and watch - like this:



Sorry - if I wanted to watch a movie I'd put a real one on like "Saving Private Ryan."

Are there tanks? Yes!! And when they fight they drive around each other as nimbly as VW bugs, firing at each other from 5-10 meters apart, like this:



I've loaded up this game about 4 times and it's already on the shelf. I think I spent more time installing it and downloading the patch than actually playing it.

Thoughtful decision making and using your mind to overcome obstacles is almost completely sacrificed to the god of pretty graphics. The soldiers do cuss realistically though - a bunch of potty-mouths I'd say. Better play with headphones on if the kids are in the room.

Long live Combat Mission!!

[British Tommy]

That's the most honest review I've read about for this game. Thanks Der Kuenstler for saving us money!

[Copper]

Yeah I got it too and now its gathering dust after being played once.

[Jobu88]

I saw enough clips on YouTube to convince me it was just a kid's arcade game & saved my money.

There used to be a game ....maybe there still is....called Close Combat, it used the same God's-eye view and was the same constant action type game, but at least the units and combat were modeled somewhat realistically. A friend of mine had it and I only saw it a couple times, but it looked reasonably realistic.

[keif149]

At least you got a nice graphics card out of the deal :smoke:

[wigam]

ok, mental note to self....Don't ask for buddies for online play. lol

I have both COH and the expansion pack Opposing Fronts and enjoy them both. Online play is quite cool, hooking up with some friends to play online adds to the play I feel.

[Der Kuenstler]

ok, mental note to self....Don't ask for buddies for online play. lol

I have both COH and the expansion pack Opposing Fronts and enjoy them both. Online play is quite cool, hooking up with some friends to play online adds to the play I feel.

LOL - I can see how it would be fun if you had headset and were playing your buddies for some laughs and had a few drinks in you - it does look pretty.

[herroberst]

Yeah, I have lots of games that never made the cut, either I bought them or they were gifts from well meaning friends who know that I am a wargamer, so these kind of reviews are helpful - if a game makes the cut from a CM guy then I know it will probably be pretty good. I'm getting to the point with my old computer that new games don't run so I guess I will have to invest and go through the VISTA pain with CM, ugh.

[enigma6584]

If you have not already purchased, don't bother with T-34 vs Tiger tank game. I won't use the word "simulation" here because it is far from it. It is an absolute piece of junk.

Steel Fury Kharkov is looking much, much better.