The Funeral ( Humour )

[Hedgehog]

The Funeral

A guy was leaving a convenience store with his
morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession
approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a
second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the
second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a
short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity.
He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said, "I am so sorry
for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've
never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

"What happened to her?"

The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passed between the two men.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

"Get in line."

[Jobu88]

Two salesmen were talking in a hotel bar,and the subject of their wives came up.

"My wife's an angel" says the first one.

"You lucky bastard" says the second one. "Mine's still alive."

[British Tommy]

I'm very surprised the mods here haven't yet picked up on the swear word in your message Jobu88 :censored:

[Copper]

Oxford English Dictionary

bastard

1 archaic or derogatory an illegitimate person.
2 informal an unpleasant or despicable person.
3 informal a person of a specified kind: the poor bastard.

I know Ive posted recently that I was going to lock down on foul language within the forums, in retrospect this may have been a tad harsh and Im willing to say I made a mistake in stating that. Needless to say... if 'I' as the moderator deem a word to be offensive and in whatever context it may be used I will moderate it. The decision is mine as moderator to make.

Carry on.

[British Tommy]

No problem Bootie, just thought I would point it out to the poster.
Carry on ;)