A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a square, a slide rule, and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto
Gonzales (numero uno Meskin) said he believes the man is a member of
the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has
been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said.
"They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on
tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like
'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have
determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval
with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer,
Isosceles, used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."
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